By Brynne Wise

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I want to be a good mother.
I am guessing you have the same desire.

Recently, I was reflecting on this. What does it actually mean to be a good mother?

Some days, I feel like a good mother just because I actually got my kids dressed and ready for the day! WAHOO!

Other days I feel like I completely failed as a mother simply because I raised my voice at my kids, even though there were so many other noteworthy things that I did right during that exact same day.

So what does it mean to be a good mother?

good mother

Unfortunately, this is not something I can answer for YOU.

To me?

Being a good mother means that my kids feel loved.

Being a good mother means that my kids feel safe.

Being a good mother means that my kids know about God, that they’re striving everyday to become more like Him, to be examples of Him, and to serve others in His name.

Being a good mother to me means doing my best to teach them to be kind to others, to be uplifting and helpful members of society, and to contribute light and joy to the world that sometimes feels dark and heavy.

To me, being a good mother means that my kids are familiar with sadness. With despair. With loneliness. They can identify it in themselves, and recognize it in others. They don’t think of themselves as bad, or wrong, for feeling down. But they see it, recognize it, identify it, and overcome it in whatever way they need, in whatever time frame they need. And I’m there for them however I can be.

Being a good mother means that I teach my kids that no matter what else the world might be doing, in our family we love each other. We serve each other. We share. We love our Savior. We speak kindly. That’s the “Wise Way.” (Our last name is Wise.)

Do I get extra credit as a mom if we learn letters and sounds? Sure!

Do I get extra credit as a mom if my house is immaculate? Sure!

Do I get extra credit as a mom if my kids are A+ students? Sure!

Do I get extra credit as a mom if I do crafts weekly? And take them for play dates often? And homeschool? And go to the library? Sure!

But first and foremost, it’s important to ME that they know they are safe. They know they are loved. They know about Christ. They are kind to themselves, their family, and others. They share goodness with the world.

If they can do that?
Then heck. I am a good mother!
Regardless of if the beds are made or not, or if the laundry is folded or not, or if I made homemade bread or not.

I invite you to answer this question for YOURSELF.

It’s incredibly freeing to identify what matters most to YOU, chase that with everything you’ve got, and give yourself grace for the rest. Regardless of everyone else’s definition.

Give yourself a little grace momma.


You’re doing better than you think you are!


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