By Erin Trier, Creator/Owner of The Momlife Mindset


Hey Mama. I know we’ve all heard those cliché lines…

A girl just really wants to get married.
Wants babies.
Wants diamonds.
Wants chocolate.

But you know what’s not talked about often enough?
Something that actually matters to a woman?

How a girl just really wants friends.

As I’ve grown further into motherhood and life as a Mama to 4, I’ve realized this to be true more than ever before.

I’ve also realized there are moments when I still minimize myself because I’ve been conditioned by my past to play it small.


I think all women can relate to that.

Passions, visions, dreams, goals…
Ideas, decisions, choices, and more…

Somehow we grow terrified of judgment because at some point, we’ve been judged or hurt or overly competitive for the wrong reasons. And we’re certain that being too loud or too honest could spark unkind behavior from other women.

We become paralyzed by this idea that we might lose our acceptance, so we make ourselves and our story smaller. We dodge the truth in hopes that it keeps us included. Because clearly, no one else is as overwhelmed as us or as lost as us, or as broken as us.


Deep down – women have so much in common. And mamas (especially) desire to have strong, real friends that cheer her on, lift her up, relate to and validate what she’s going through. Ladies that accept her just the way she is. Baggage, imperfection, quirks and all! No guilt. No shame. No comparison.

That kind of unconditional love? It’s unlike any other kind of love on this planet. It’s a gift. It’s something every girl wants. And 100% what a mama needs.

I can admittedly say this isn’t always an easy thing to cultivate. There are times I find myself fighting hard against conditioned behaviors from my past. Trying not to minimize my passion or my drive. Trying not to compare and compete. Trying not to overdo it so I’m still accepted.

It can be an exhausting cycle.

But here’s the message. And I need it just as much as you. Keep working to let your guard down, mama. Don’t be so afraid of your insecurities that you miss finding the place where you feel secure. Don’t sit in isolation because you believe you’re the only one. Connection and community matter on our life journey – especially as mothers.

Don’t sit in isolation because you believe you’re the only one. Connection and community matter on our life journey – especially as mothers.

I know you’re in the middle of working to navigate the newness of motherhood while simultaneously working to take care of yourself. And I know most days you feel like the world is spinning. But take comfort in knowing you’re not alone when it comes to the growth process.

Give yourself permission to lean in to support from other women.

Little by little.
Open your heart.
Open your mind.
And say YES more often.
To YOU and the things you need.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Embrace that you’re imperfect, just like all of us!
And don’t forget, we’re all just doing the best we can.

Alondra Vega Photography

There is so much power in finding like-minded community. Ladies that are in the business of building bridges. Bridges out of truth and vulnerability so we ALL win and we ALL feel empowered in the life we’re leading.

You need it.
I need it.
We all need it.

Because after all…

A mama just really wants friends.


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