By Jodi Milner

Jodi Milner author/bio pic

When it comes to goals and challenges, there are two types of people in this world — those who reach out to friends and family for help and those who feel they must push through the process alone. For those of you who naturally reach out, you probably already understand the power behind having people you trust rooting for you to succeed.

For the rest of you, listen up. The inability to reach out and ask for help stems from being hurt. Somewhere in your past, you needed help with something and when you asked for it you didn’t get what you needed. Perhaps it was from a parent, a teacher, or a best friend. All that matters is that you needed someone to help you and they couldn’t, or worse, wouldn’t.

trust

When trust is broken, it’s almost impossible to win back. There’s always that worry that when you need that same person again, they’ll fail you once more. When this trust is broken between a parent and child, often that child goes on to struggle to ask for help clear into adulthood.

Know that certain personality types are also prone to be inherently mistrusting. Those who tend to overthink situations or create hypothetical disaster scenarios in their minds tend to be slow to trust because they can spot where that trust might go wrong. Working through the challenge or goal is simply easier than risking the worst to happen.

Those who can trust, go further than those who can’t

When it comes down to it, those who get the support they need do better. It’s scary facing challenges and it’s even scarier to do it alone. There’s no rule that says you have to go solo. 

As we are approaching a new year and forming new goals, I encourage you to take a leap of faith and ask a friend to be a trust buddy. Start small. Allow yourself to share a challenge you’ve been facing and ask them to share one of theirs. Work together to find ways in how you can support each other. 

As we are approaching a new year and forming new goals, I encourage you to take a leap of faith and ask a friend to be a trust buddy.

Not only does this exercise help you to learn to trust, it can also help you achieve more and make it easier to ask for help the next time you might need it. 

The time I ended up in charge of a writer’s retreat

Several years ago, I ended up in charge of a local organization’s writer’s retreat. I don’t know why I was recommended to take charge of this massive project, but I, like most people, have a hard time saying no. My biggest problem? I’d never even been to a writer’s retreat, let alone organized one before. Everything that needed to be done was new and a bit scary. Lucky for me, the other lady assigned to organize the retreat had done several and knew exactly what we needed. 

With her guidance paired with my technical skills, we not only organized the event but were able to put into motion several other beneficial activities for our writers. The retreat turned out to be a huge success and has been running every year since.

Discussion: Share a time you ended up needing to work with someone else and it turned out better than you expected.

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