All I ever wanted to be was a mom. So… does it make me a bad person now that I have fallen in love with my side hustle?
Yes. It DOES make me a bad person.
At least… that’s what my mean girl (i.e., SATAN) was telling me.
The moment that finally switched for me? And I recognized the lie for what it was? Was 4.5 years into my journey as a health and fitness coach.
Yes. All I ever wanted to be was a mom.
And here I was, 40 weeks + 2 days pregnant with my third child, SCREAMING at my kids at bed time because it was the 15th of the month. My husband and I still hadn’t paid our mortgage. We’d scrimped. We’d saved. We’d sold. We’d done “everything” we could. And we still came up $800 short.
I had to call my sister and ask her to bail me out.
And what made the shame even deeper? Was that it was the exact same sister that I work with.
She has the same job as me. She’s only been doing it one month longer than me. And it’s worked for her. She is more than able to provide financially for the needs of her family, with the same job that I have.
Why not me?
That was the moment. That was the moment I knew. IT IS OKAY FOR ME TO DIG INTO MY SIDE HUSTLE. Because I am NOT the mom I want to be when I can’t pay our own gosh dang mortgage.
I want my kids to grow up with a mom who says yes. Yes, you can play soccer. Yes. You can dance. Yes. You can go to that summer camp. Yes. You can go to EFY. Yes. You can do/have/go/be __.
But with the constant wheel I was finding myself on? Guilty if I take ANY time away from them to do something that brings me joy and fulfillment and helps others? I couldn’t break free.
Until this moment. In February. February 15, 2020.
This year? I have GROWN. I have dug deep. I have lost 47 pounds with the same health and fitness program I coach others through. EVEN WITH COVID. I have hired a betrayal trauma coach. I have finished countless personal development books. I have finished countless exercise programs. I completed the mindset program 75 Hard that’s a huge craze on Instagram right now. All things that I CAN control, that no one can take away from me.
Moths cannot corrupt, and thieves cannot break through and steal, my growth.
Last week, 8 months later, I was able to contribute over $200 to our savings account with money I’d earned in my side hustle. I was able to save over $500 for my husband and me to spend on our anniversary weekend (Happy 9 years to us TODAY!) I have been able to save 10% of my weekly income to be AHEAD on Christmas gifts this year.
We still have a lot of debt to pay off.
We still have a lot of money habits to stick to before they become ingrained in us.
But we have grown.
I have grown.
All because I asked the question, “Why not me?” And then? I have taken the time. Done the work. Stayed the course. And given myself GRACE as a momma that YES, I AM a good mother, AND a good business owner! I can be both.
If you have a side hustle momma, it does NOT make you a bad person if you have fallen in love with it. In fact, I think we are BETTER mommas when we have things that we love to do outside of motherhood, whether or not they also happen to bless you with income.
You were something before you were a mother.
Are you still that person today? Or have you lost her in the monotony of mom life and chores and carpooling and errands and diapers and to-do lists?
I challenge you, today, and everyday, to do what lights YOUR soul on fire.
A momma who loves herself, and her life, is easier to love. And momma, you DESERVE to love yourself, your life, and your kids deserve a momma who’s happy.
“Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because the world needs people who have come alive.”Howard Thurman