Grief is hard. It’s one of the hardest emotions we can ever experience.
I am personally grieving the loss of my dad who passed away a week and a half ago, unexpectedly, and quickly.
In this episode, she shared the 5 Ms of grieving, and I want to share our conversation with you. Because these 5 Ms? They are what’s helping me deal with my grief the most.
1. Make space for grieving.
It’s gonna hit you at different times. When it comes, let it visit. Make the time to sit in it, feel it, and welcome it. When we make space to truly feel our pain, we make space to heal. Ask: “What is this grief teaching me?” When we get comfortable being uncomfortable, we become more resilient. We heal faster because we’re not ignoring the pain. We are diagnosing it. We are listening, learning, embracing, and in time? We are healing.
2. Move your body.
Grief is physical pain in our bodies, and our bodies hold on to it. When we feel grief, and move our bodies, we are able to release those negative emotions and replace them with positive ones like endorphins and clarity of mind. Go for a walk. Dance. Get your sweat on. Anything. Just move. Satan doesn’t have a body. And we do. So when we move ours? He loses control over us.
3. Modify your thoughts.
If you can change your thoughts? You can change your life. Like Brynne’s mindset coach Brad Bizjack always says, “Pain is guaranteed. Suffering is a choice.” Who do you want to be? Rachel shared “I want to be loving, kind, empathetic, happy, forgiving, and vulnerable.” We get to choose how we think.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
If you need help choosing your thoughts (which we ALL do in Brynne’s opinion), hire a life coach, get a therapist, chat more vulnerably with your best friend or a close family member. Brynne’s therapist taught her that to truly heal, you MUST either talk it out to a trusted someone or write it out. Speak it out, or write it out. But don’t just think it. There is power and healing in getting those thoughts OUT.
4. Manifest your worth.
Your worth is eternal. Nothing will ever change that. Claim it. Recite affirmations. Get clear on the vision you have for your life. Write, or speak, “I am” statements. “I am…” what? What do you want to be? What do you want to believe about yourself? Claim those things! Have a vision board. What do you want your life to look like? How can you learn from this grief? We are not stuck in it. Our past does not determine our future, nor does it define our worth. We get to have whatever we want. Claim it! Own it! And if you believe in God, make this one of your affirmations: “Because I believe in God? I believe in myself.”
5. Magnify the miracles.
Look for them every day. See the good. Because you will find it if you look for it. Write down the miracles you see in your journal. And if you can’t see a miracle today? Look back in the last 12 months. If you’re asking yourself, “How do I define a miracle?” Rachel defined it as something that you know you couldn’t have done on your own. There was outside help, a friend came to help, you see God’s hand. When you’re looking for Him? You’ll find Him. And if you need to be angry at Him? That’s okay. He’s the safest person in existence to be angry at. Rely on Him. Plead to Him. Cry to Him. Make Him the closest person in your life, because you can’t do this on your own.
Our circumstances don’t define who we are. But we can choose to let them refine who we are.
For more on this, you can listen to the rest of this amazing podcast episode.