By Pam Young
A scripture that really touches my heart is John 14:27. At the Last Supper Christ’s disciples were telling him they were afraid, they didn’t know what they were going to do without him by their side. He said to them, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither be afraid.”
My Heavenly Father has given me a very special gift. I know that he knew that I would need it. I have always known my Heavenly Father loves me and that my Savior is by my side always. I have never doubted this gift. I want to share 3 experiences I have had that have confirmed this gift.
The First Experience
My husband is a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He actually joined 2 years after we were married. A year after his baptism on October 12th, 1979 we were sealed in the Provo Temple. I was 8 months pregnant at the time, with our first baby. A week and a half later on Sunday morning, I went into labor and we went to the hospital to have our baby. A short time after being there they told us that our baby’s heart was not beating and that our baby would not be born alive. At that time my husband gave me his first priesthood blessing. I was just waiting for him to ask for everything to be ok, that they were wrong and that our baby would be ok.
But remember like it was yesterday the words he said, “Please bless us with the strength to accept the decision that you have already made.”
That is when I knew that I would need my precious gift more than ever….”peace I give unto you.”
For a very long time after burying our baby girl, I truly felt like I couldn’t even breathe without his help. He kept his promise, he didn’t leave my side. I remember when the pain was more than I could bear I would just ask him to please take it from me, I would feel it immediately, his tender mercy. I knew he was taking my pain upon himself. You just cannot experience something like this and not know of his love.
The next experience that stands out to me was in 2020 when our daughter Tiffany and her husband wanted so much to have a family after almost 2 years of many medical procedures. They did in vitro in October. She didn’t tell us at the time they were hoping to surprise us with a special Christmas surprise. At the end of November, she showed me a picture of the two little embryos that were implanted and told me they did not make it.
My heart shattered. I did not understand why our prayers were not being answered. That is when my prayers changed. I prayed so hard that my Savior would please let me know that our prayers were being heard. I work across the street from the Provo City Temple. Then it was the Provo Tabernacle. In December there was a terrible fire there. It burned for three days before the firefighters could even go inside. The entire inside was ashes. I remember coming into work one day that week when one of the deputies asked me if I had seen the Tabernacle miracle. I didn’t know what she was talking about, so I pulled up the picture of the painting the fireman brought out of what was left of the building. It was a painting of Christ. It was burned all the way around the frame and all of the picture, except Christ was not even touched.
That is when my answer came. I looked at that picture and it took my breath away. I knew that the Savior was letting me know “yes, I hear you” and “I have got this. I am by your side.”
I knew at that moment we were getting a baby. I knew it, I printed out copies of the picture for all of my family and told them we are getting a baby. I still have my picture hanging at my desk at work. I didn’t know it then but Tiffany and Nick had had an amazing experience at the temple and had already gone to LDS Adoption and started to prepare their packet for adoption.
It is quite a process. They had their packet and video online in June. Their sweet caseworker was very honest with them. She let them know that the average wait time to get a baby is 1-3 years. After a couple of weeks online they had multiple inquiries. Their caseworker called them and told them that they were going to take their profile down for a while because they had several contacts to look at. It was not even a week later, I remember that Tiffany was home for lunch when she received a call from her caseworker. She told her that she had received a call from a young girl she was working with, she was crying, she told her that the night before she had seen their profile online (yes the video that had been taken off a week before) and that she knew that the baby she was carrying was theirs. She told her she had to see them and tell them. They went up to Ogden the next day and met with Amy. Our precious Mya Brook was born July 24th. What a special answer to our prayers again! I felt “my peace I give unto you.” He knew all along that Amy and Mya needed to be with us. Tiffany has told me many times that she felt like she received two daughters that day. We love our precious Mya and her birth mother Amy so much.
The last experience I want to share was July 31, 2014. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I felt His love and I knew I would beat the cancer. At the time we had 8 grandchildren and 2 on the way. The oldest was 5 at the time. My biggest fear was that they would be afraid of me with no hair and I didn’t want them to worry that Grandma was sick. When the time came to shave my head, my daughter Brittney who is a cosmetologist didn’t have the heart to shave it, but she did come with me and brought her children. Littler Cooper was 2 1/2 and Bentlie was 18 months at the time. I am pretty sure she brought them to distract me from what was happening. They shaved my head. I was sitting in the chair and my sweet little Cooper put his hands on my knees and looked up at me and said, “Grandma, I think you are cute.” Instantly I felt peace and I knew it would be ok.
I am so grateful for this precious gift of knowing my Savior is by my side always. I hold tight to it. He knew and still knows exactly what I would need to get through the hard times in this life. I have never and never will doubt His love for me.