By 2015 I had lost and gained the “baby weight” 5 times already. I was fit but miserable. I had grown up as the “chubby kid” and I felt desperate to not be that way as a mom.
I was constantly thinking about food. How much food? When could I eat food? What food do I get to eat today? What food is around that I shouldn’t eat? Round and round my thoughts went.
I remember being at work and all I could think about was a stupid protein bar in my purse. I wasn’t even hungry. On weekends I had bingy behavior. I did not trust myself with food.
I was in a battle with food, my body and my thoughts. I sought the answer in food plans and calorie counting but it just made it worse in the long run.
It took me years to figure it out but here are the 3 lessons that freed me in losing weight:
#1 – STOP HATING ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR BODY:
We think that if we fully accept our body as is now then we won’t ever lose weight. This is a lie. We got it backwards. Permanent and meaningful change happens when we do the internal work on our thoughts to fully love our bodies now.
Deeply and fiercely loving your body right now, before any weight is lost is the easiest way to lose weight and keep it off long term. Actions taken from unconditional love for your body creates the internal framework that will support the weight loss being permanent.
This may feel impossible. You may feel plagued by negative thoughts about your body but with the right tools and skills it is easier than you think to rewrite those negative thoughts and truly love your body now, no matter what she looks like.
#2 – START LISTENING TO YOUR BODY:
Guess what? You can trust your body. She is wise. She knows when to eat and when to stop. She will let you know what she likes and doesn’t. She has been telling you how to feed and care for her but you haven’t been listening.
In order to do this you have to drop out of your head and into your body. Stop all the crazy thoughts that your brain is throwing at you to eat random stuff, or past the point of comfort. Just pay attention to your body and you will be surprised at all the wisdom that is there. You don’t need a bunch of other people’s meal plans, you just need your body’s feedback and a willingness to listen.
#3 – STOP RESISTING EMOTIONS:
The desire to eat something when we are not hungry is an emotion. Desire is an emotion. We have three options to respond to any emotion, we can…
- Resist/avoid the emotion-pretend its not there, distract ourselves, etc.
- Act on it- Do whatever the emotion is pushing upon us to do. Like yell when we feel angry or be short when we are irritated.
- Allow it- An emotion is just a sensation in your body. You can allow the sensation to just exist. It is scary to do at first because we think it will grow. The truth is that resistance to an emotion is far more uncomfortable then just allowing the emotion. It may not feel great but it also isn’t a problem, just something to be felt.
When the desire or urge to eat something comes and you are not hungry don’t resist that urge. Don’t try to distract yourself from it. Simply allow the sensation to be there. It is called processing or allowing an urge. As you do you will realize that it leaves fairly quickly, it isn’t a problem.
For me an urge feels like pressure in my throat or chest. I allow myself to feel an urge and then it lifts and I go on with life. Overtime allowing the urge without resistance or acting on it deconditions the brain from sending the urge anymore. You actually decondition your brain from continuing to send the urge!
Stop struggling “not to give in to cravings” just allow and process the urge without resistance or acting on it.
It is a practice but it is the practice that set me free from all the stupidness of diet mentality and self loathing.
Give it a try, Kerrie